Monday, September 15, 2008
A Redneck Weekend (a.k.a. Don't Mess With Me MoFo!)
That's me meeting the challenge I made to myself to do something new each week. On Saturday I shot a pistol for the very first time. A Colt 45 that belonged to my grandfather-in-law way back during WW1. Don’t I look like a natural born bad-ass? Just look at that Bond-girl stance. The deadly calm focus. The steely set of my jaw. (Trust me, it's steely.)
I chose to learn to shoot for several reasons: (1) As a born Texan who has lived in the Lone Star State most of my life (I took a few detours along the way), seems to me that this is a part of my heritage I’ve ignored.
Mind you, I’ve never been crazy about guns. I’m not for banning them, but I am for gun control – for strict screening of anyone wanting to buy one. Will that keep criminals from getting their grimy little hands on them? Probably not, but it sure won’t make it any easier for them, either. And I’m all for making life tougher for criminals. Also, I think even most law abiding citizens don't have a need for certain kinds of weapons. I tend to agree with what Barack Obama said in his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention... "The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Seco
nd Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals."
That brings me to my second reason for learning to shoot: (2) Who knows? I may decide I want to try to be chosen as a candidate for Vice President of the U.S. in 2012, and I’ve recently learned that knowing the ins and outs of hunting and shooting and such is one qualification for the job. I don’t reckon I’ll ever kill or gut a varmint – that is, unless the political race gets tight and I need another point in my favor, something to reassure the common folk I’m just a good ol’ gal, too. I already have PTA mom and hockey mom on my resume, and I think it's a mistake not to finish my training. So now I have pistol-packin' mama on there, too. Let me tell you, now that I know how to organize a school spaghetti supper, understand the meaning of ‘hat trick,’ AND know how to shoot, I’m feeling a lot more confident that I have what it takes to run the country!
And finally, my last reason for learning to shoot: (3) I spent the weekend in the mountains with two men—my husband and our friend Joe. Joe’s wife Jayme couldn’t go, and so it was just the guys and yours truly. I knew it was going to be a real redneck weekend when Joe asked what he could bring and my husband replied quite seriously, “Your fishing pole, a chain saw, your gun and beer.” (Actually, he said “Scotch” not “beer.” But Joe brought beer, anyway, along with the Scotch. And ‘Scotch’ sounds a little too high-brow for a redneck, so it’s easier for me to make fun of them if I just mention the beer.) I figured, if Jayme's not here for girl-talk and wildflower gathering I might as well join Billy Joe and Bobby Jeff. But I’m picky, so I chose imbibing and target shooting over fishing or sawing down dead trees. (Don’t worry—we shot first and imbibed later.)
The verdict on my new endeavor? FUN! I LIKE firing off a few rounds into a dead tree stump. Who would’ve thunk it? All the way home, I tried to analyze the reasons for
that. Maybe it’s the challenge of hitting that tiny little knothole. Or maybe it’s feeling all that power in your hands. Or maybe it’s the tension release factor; bam-bam-bam-bam-bam! Take that editor X! That’s the last time you’ll reject one of MY manuscripts.
In other news, I just finished reading HOLES by Louis Sachar. I watched the movie long ago, but had never read the book. Loved, loved, loved it! What fun, quirky characters and what an unusual puzzle of a story. I enjoyed watching the author make all the pieces fall gradually into place.
Finally, I’ve become addicted to ONE WORD, ONE RUNG, ONE DAY AT A TIME, my friend and fellow fiction-writer Travis Erwin’s blog. His way with words and his perspective on life never fail to make me smile—and often have me laughing out loud. Check it out! You’ll feel better. Happy reading,
Ghostwriting, Editing &